“It’s really important to understand the difference because meltdowns are never a voluntary choice within our control, and how you respond to a meltdown versus a tantrum is very different.” “Tantrums are often related to a ‘want,’ while meltdowns are related to a trigger,” Jane explains. On the other hand, autism meltdowns aren’t limited to children - anyone with autism can become overstimulated and experience a meltdown.Īdditionally, tantrums are generally goal-oriented. Though neurotypical adults may experience emotional outbursts similar to temper tantrums, generally speaking, “tantrums” are far more common in children. Still, there’s a key difference between the two. covering eyes or ears from sensory inputīecause meltdowns and childhood tantrums share similar qualities, the phrases “autism tantrum” and “autism meltdown” have been used interchangeably.fidgeting or stimming more (repetitive movements or noises).being irritable, which can include shouting or physical aggression.Some signs that a loved one is having or nearing a meltdown may include: What does an ‘autism meltdown’ look like? having less patience and control over tone and facial expressions.finding that small sensory things cause more discomfort than normal.feeling more annoyed by a situation than you generally would.Some aspects of a meltdown could include: While meltdowns are a common occurrence for autistic folks due to being overwhelmed, overstimulated, or both, Jane says that meltdowns aren’t inherently an autistic trait. “Meltdowns are a common occurrence for autistic individuals since we have differences in our sensory and emotional processing as well as the extra demands we experience often pile up and take up our resources,” they say. They say the lack of control regarding the situation can trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response, making the meltdowns difficult to regulate. Although older autistic individuals may also experience meltdowns, not all autistic people have them.Īccording to Sonny Jane, a lived-experience educator and consultant on Kaurna Land in Australia, an autism meltdown is an extreme response to something that is upsetting. We are there to pick up the pieces, to love, cuddle, hug and be there - but also to be incredibly strong, fierce and brave for your child.The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network recognizes meltdowns as a common externalized behavior, particularly among autistic children and adolescents. We will tweak things and adjust things and hope he comes out with a smile instead of a punch. We will try to manage his pain and find what makes him happy. And some days are exhausting, and you don’t know how you will get up the next day and do it all over again. Some days are a battle, and you don’t even know if you’ve won. Other days it’s hard and you flinch, fearing a bite instead. Sometimes it’s easy giving that shoulder immediately. We have to be the shoulder for him to cry on, even after he’s tried to harm us. Because even after he rages and destroys everything in his wake, we still have to pick up the pieces and move on. Getting Kreed ready for bed was painful and long and hard. AdvertisementĮven un-screwing the lid to his peanut butter jar brought me pain, and I didn’t think I could do it. But other days he’s in so much pain, we do battle.
Kreed does so much more some days without a hint of pain. Most people with Kreed’s set of disorders would probably tell you they are in immense pain every day, and just waking up and being present is enough. But some days his body is so racked with pain due to his medical issues that there is no joy to be found that day. And we have moments of joy, and we focus on his quality of life and finding happiness. We are fierce and strong, and sometimes have to do things we never thought we would do or knew we would have to do for their safety.
In those moments we aren’t parents we aren’t the ones kissing the boo boos or snuggling and finding joy. This is incredibly difficult knowing part of your job is to provide that protection. Not protect ourselves, but protect our child from himself. For some of us families, we not only have to parent and teach, but we also have to protect.
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